Years ago, while shopping at Target, I walked into the following discussion. OK, so maybe I was eavesdropping. Here's how it started:
Mom: I'm looking for a racing game my 11-year-old wants... it's called GTA III or something like that...
If you heard those words come out of a clueless but loving parent's mouth at Christmas-time, would you say anything? I've encountered this situation a handful of times in the past 20 or so years, and usually leave it alone. But on that occasion, for some reason, I felt the need to (as the lady would soon put it) "butt in."
To be fair, the clerk was the first one to "butt in" on her business by asking, simply, "Do you know what 'GTA' stands for?"
The conversation continued thusly:
Mom: Yes. 'Good Times Ahead.' My son already told me to say 'GTA' and you'd know what he meant.
Clerk: No ma'am, it stands for 'Grand Theft Auto.' It's rated 'M' for Mature. You said your son was 10?"
Mom: He's 11. I told you he's 11.
Clerk: This really isn't a racing game...
Mom: My son wants it. And he says you can be a good person, a policeman or fireman.
The clerk then shrugged and headed off to get the game. The store was busy. She didn't want to hear it. And that's when I decide to "butt in."
THIS. REALLY. HAPPENED.
Me: Pardon me, I'm a gamer and...
Mom: You're a girl.
Me: Yes ma'am. I also play games and...
Mom: I can't wait to tell my son! He says none of the girls at school want to play videogames.
Me: About GTA. It's really a pretty grown-up game. Do you know what it's about?
Mom: It's a racing game.
Me: Well, there is racing, but there's also a lot of killing, robbing, stealing... it's pretty violent.
Mom: Are there any naked girls?
Me: I don't think so...
Mom: Do they have sex?
Me: You can hire a prostitute for health.
Now, let me note here that I expected the light to go on over her head. Oh! This is the game where you "have" to hire prostitutes and then kill them for money, like the nice lady on TV said. Instead, she said this:
Mom: Well do they (have sex) with the prostitute or what?
I swear I am not making this up.
In the end, she decided to buy the game for her son purely on the basis that he's played it at his friends' houses (and they might ridicule him for not having it) plus it's the only thing he wants for Christmas (shopping = done!). Oh, and next time, she informed me, I shouldn't butt into other people's business.
After she left, the clerk came over to get my game. I apologized for almost costing him a sale. The clerk wasn't upset, however. Instead, he told me that it happens all the time - and it's really frustrating. The clerk thought working in games, a personal passion, would be a boon. Instead, he was limited by corporate to showing customers the ESRB rating, correcting titles (e.g., "Grand Theft Auto," not "Good Times Ahead") and answering direct questions.
Could he have told the customer there was sex/violence in the game? Yes, if she asked. Otherwise, all he could do was point out it was rated M for Mature, which, frankly, doesn't appear to mean much to anyone.
At this point, you're probably expecting this to veer into a lecture/rant about responsible parenting, use the Internet/twitter/whatevs to research the damn game before you buy it, etc. And yes, I do feel that way. But I know that some people simply aren't going to do that. If you're reading this site, odds are you will. Both Gamewatcher and I have received queries via Twitter asking for info about a particular game. Other parents at Pikachu Fan's school will ask me about titles as well. There are responsible parents out there.
The question is how can we help those who won't help themselves? Or should we? To me, the answer is yes. Because I have no doubt that the first time that woman in the big box store walked in on her son getting serviced by a prostitute, or overheard him discussing the lesbians making out in the game, or anything else remotely sexual, she freaked. That's how we end up with the "Won't someone please think of the children!" nuts on TV ranting about getting games banned. Because they didn't think before they bought.
I'm not suggesting you hang around videogame areas looking for the obvious non-gamers sent on a mission by their children. The store managers will probably think you're a pedophile and call the police. But there are things you can do:
- Take a few minutes to learn what the ESRB ratings mean. I know, they're lame. But they do offer guidance.
- Let non-gamer parents know that you're a gamer and that you love to talk games! And if their kids want something they've never heard of, they can ask you for advice.
- Don't be judgmental, no matter how inappropriate the game. Just offer an honest assessment of what's in it. Ultimately, they need to decide for their children, at least up until the point when the state revokes their custody.
- Don't want to be the source of game advice for every parent you know? Keep Web sites in your back pocket. If all else fails, tell them to google "game name" +sex or "game name" +violence (etc.) They can pick whatever is offensive to them and quickly find a detailed list of what sorts of things their little one is likely to encounter in a given game.
And finally, remember that everyone has different ideas about what is appropriate or not. I'd let my 7 year-old son see the jiggle-fest that is Dead or Alive Xtreme Beach Volleyball but not the Dead or Alive fighting games - because I don't want him to see people beating each other down.
And please, don't buy Grand Theft Auto games for your tweens and young children. There will be plenty of time for them to jack cars, hire hookers and rise up through the mob-du-jour later.
Society will thank you.