If you've been on Facebook for more than five minutes lately, you've probably seen notices that your friends are handing out guns, flowers and cookies, leveling up their amusement parks, moving up the mob ladder and spending a helluva lot of time down on the farm. And you probably laughed as you joyfully ignored their attempts to sucker you in, too.
But eventually, you will be assimilated. I'm here to save you the pain, the anguish, the anxiety of figuring out which one will become your personal time suck.
Why we play
Zynga games are, first and foremost, about relationships. Oh sure, you're raising fish/crops/Hell - but realistically, what really gets you going is those sweet little words, "you have gifts waiting!" The more you give, the more you receive. And the more your friends level up, the better the booty you might score. So it behooves you to join a mob or get neighbors (add friends to your gaming network), and scratch those proverbial backs. Just remember the cardinal rules of not pissing your friends off.
Good Citizenship Rules of Social Gaming:
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| "Who's no longer playing Cafe World? This guy!" |
- Don't recruit friends from within the game, no matter how much the game asks you to do so. Your friends know these games exist. No, really, they do. If they want to play, they'll join you eventually. Instead, look for those who are already playing and appear to have active games and connect with them.
- Look for active game friends when sending gifts. Every Zynga game will offer you the option to spam all your friends with gifts, and it always defaults to All Facebook Friends - which includes people who are not playing. Choose the tab for friends who ARE playing the game, and select only the ones who are actively sending you things so you skip the ones who have abandoned play.
- Pay attention to your friends' hints. If they are posting announcements to their Facebook feeds, sending you gifts, or leaving messages on your boards (not all games offer this option), they are still active. If the crops are rotten, fish are floating or the amusement park is a dead zone, they've probably lost interest. Also, if they send you a particular gift, they probably want the same thing or something similar back. Right now, the big thing on Farmville is holiday presents. But once people max out what they can use, they'll switch to something else.
- Avoid "accidental" spamming, and when you do, undo. This has happened to me in almost every game - watch the right hand corner for alert messages. If you see a message you don't want really to send (e.g., "GrrlGotGame wants you to join her Mafia!"), quickly hit undo to stop it from going out. In Café World, for instance, you can draft a non-player friend to wait tables for you - but you'll notify them and invite them to the game if you're not careful.
- Don't go crazy with the feed announcements. The games advertise themselves in your Facebook feed everytime you announce you are leveling up, just iced someone, raised a new fish, etc. While some of these offer cash rewards or prizes ("Share the wealth," for example), others just say, "Hey, I'm playing this game!" Don't go overboard. Sharing the wealth/weapons/animals/etc = good. Screaming "I'm a level 8! Now I'm a level 9! No 10! in the span of five minutes = way to lose friends.
- And finally, don't click the ads, kids. Yes, Zynga is the company you've heard about recently. And yes, there may still be some scammy ads here and there.
Get it? Got it? Good. Now, on with the show.
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Mafia Wars We'll start with the game I understand least, both in the sense of what to do and, frankly, why so many of my friends play it: Mafia Wars. This seems to be the least interactive of all the games, as all you do is click on boxes and read messages telling you what happened. Based on other Zynga games, I expected at least a cartoon shoot out in the city. Instead, I got cartoon pictures of tommy guns I think I bought (hard to tell) and text telling me I killed a mobster, and now I'm too tired to do anything. Conclusion: Bored now. |
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Fishville Yet another virtual tank to fill with weird crap while you raise and sell fish. I should have abandoned this game as soon as my friend gave me a starfish to raise - but I gotta admit, I turned it on. Again. And again. And again. I keep dumping more fish eggs in, thinking this is the last round - and then I find myself panicking when I forget to feed them. Oh, and the tank? It gets filthy. A lot. So expect to spend your time scrubbing, feeding, and giving your fish love. (I'm not sure what it means, but I get coins when I do. "Who's a good fishy? You are!") The major downside of this game for me is that I only have two friends playing ("neighbors"), a far cry from the minimum I need to get a bigger tank. My friends keep sending me gifts for my tank, and I'm running out of room to put crap. (You can shrink/grow your toys, so that helps.) I don't expect many more to join, so eventually I'll have to either sell some stuff or stop accepting gifts - or both. I'm hopeful Zynga will eventually just let me have a bigger tank. Oh, and I killed Nemo. I killed Nemo nine times. I'm just glad my kid wasn't around when I loaded my tank. Conclusion: Will somebody PLEASE tell me why I'm still playing this game? |
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Roller Coaster Kingdom One of the trickier games to navigate without pissing off your friends. Each time you build a new feature - amusement ride, food store, etc. - you "hire" a friend to run it. And by "hiring" I mean send them a note saying you want them to come play the game. (Here's another place where that Undo feature comes in handy!) My amusement park is manned by several people who have no interest in the game, but happen to be Facebook friends. (And April, if you're reading this, you really need to clean out the Popcorn station, hon. We had a grease fire last week. Thanks.) I actually like this game better than some others, but once again, I've run into the issue of not enough "neighbors" to expand. So my theme park consists of a couple food stands, a haunted house and a big-ass roller coaster. Not exactly a thrill a minute for me or my visitors. Unless my real-life friends suddenly hanker to build their own, I don't see this going much longer. I have killed many tourists by forgetting to go back and let them go home. It's not looking good for the batch in the park now. Conclusion: Where are all the Twinkies? And zombies, for that matter. |
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YoVille Now we're getting somewhere! YoVille is the city equivalent of Farmville. Here, the only crops you'll see are women's tops, and you get to visit and hang out in your friend's abodes. I selected a modern apartment myself, but recently visited a friend in a wicked cool tree house. You can also just wander around the city, running into (and interacting with) others - friends and strangers alike - and go to the bakery to make money to buy more crop tops and furnishings for your apartment. This one has proven tremendously popular with my friends, meaning I get plenty of freebies (including cool seasonal stuff) and messages from friends in my apartment. I also received a note from a complete stranger hitting on my avatar, which frankly creeped me out. (No, I do NOT want to date your avatar!) That invasion of privacy was enough to send me fleeing from the game. I realize that the idea is to meet new people, but I'm not interested. I just want to talk to my friends. Conclusion: It's just what we do until the real one comes along. |
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Cafe World This at least has some action to it - when I made French onion soup, I had to cut the onions, garlic, and sautee the butter - then you leave it there to cook for awhile. Chicken required me to mash garlic, etc. Once again, it asked me to hire friends (e.g., send them invites to play), so I had to hit Undo pretty fast. And yes, my restaurant is going to be severely limited by my lack of homies. I can live with that. I love the idea of making French onion soup (Cut the onions! Smash the garlic! Sautee the butter!) and sending it out to the tables. But then, I love to cook. This one just might have (chicken) legs. Conclusion: You are the winner of this Quick Fire challenge! |
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Farmville Last but definitely not least is Farmville. This is the big dog of all the Zynga games - if your friends are playing anything of theirs, odds are it's this one. And with good reason. It's the least obtrusive (once you decline to do something, it stays that way), you get a decent amount of room to work with from the beginning, and there are plenty of ways to customize your estate. Grow crops, raise animals, build an arbor empire - or do a little bit of everything. Just be sure you get your Farmville-friendly friends to add you as a neighbor. I have about a dozen folks with active farms in my network now, and regularly get between 6 and 10 gifts daily. The best thing? My neighbors are leveled up, so I get lots of goodies not available in any store (to me, anyway). The game is also very generous with ways to level up. Like most Zynga games, you can "help" neighbors by raking leaves, chasing off varmints or generally keeping their farm in order while they are away. (In other words, click here.) You'll get cash and experience points every time you help someone out. Other opportunities to be neighborly include leaving notes (for friends only, thank you!), "helping" stray animals that wander on your farm by sending them out for adoption and, of course, sending them crap. Of all the Zynga games I've played, I love this one the most. I can actually see my crops grow as I visit throughout the day, and I can pet my virtual kitties. I dig that there are tons of ribbons to be had for just doing stuff I'm going to do anyway. And I like shopping. A lot. Even if it's mostly for seeds and hale bales. But bottom line is it's about community. Who doesn't like to get gifts? (But remember, it's better to give...) and I enjoy watching my cats, reindeer (complete with Christmas lights) and chickens live in unrealistic harmony. It's easy to learn, rewards you regularly and offers some cool seasonal gifts to send around. Best of all, I've finally found a community that's right for me. Conclusion: It took me a really long time to get here, but I'm here. Farmville, you're the one. |
