Busy Gamer News

The movie adaptation of Dungeon Siege (an essentially story-free action RPG) will star Jason Statham (Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels) as the farmer protagonist, Ron Perlman (Hellboy) as his sidekick, Matthew Lillard (Scream) as a duke, Burt Reynolds as a king, Leelee Sobieski as a sorceror's daughter and Kristanna Loken (also the star of Bloodrayne) as some sort of wood nymph. House of the Dead director Uwe Boll strikes again, so don't get your hopes up...

Looking for an alternative to 4th of July fireworks? Try a free game. Castle Infinity is a massively multiplayer platform/adventure/puzzle game that someone literally fished out of a dumpster when Starwave killed it back in the late '90s. While entirely free, donations are encouraged since servers and bandwidth aren't. Get it at castleinfinity.com... If you're a fan of classic puzzle games like The Incredible Machine or Lemmings, you owe it yourself to try Eets at eetsgame.com. You'll use items that affect Eets' emotions (including exploding pigs and radioactive ginseng!) to manipulate the cute little bugger...

If you loved Snake Eater except for the wonky camera and lack of online play, you'll want to pick up Metal Gear Solid 3: Subsistence in November. This PS2 game is essentially a reissue with a third-person camera locked directly behind Snake, plus several new modes and extras such as face paints and promotional ads. Online battles will pit two teams of three against each other, or you can play as Snake and have up to five buddies try to hunt you down. It also includes the original Metal Gear and Metal Gear 2: Solid Snake games, neither of which has ever seen U.S. release...

Rockstar is busy with two new titles that offer GTA-style elements set in new game worlds. Bully puts you in the shoes of a schoolboy who faces down bullies and teachers while looking for love at a reform school. Due in the fall for PS2 and Xbox, expect open-ended gameplay and the ability to pull off cool pranks. The Warriors is based on the 1979 movie of the same name and features brutal squad-based brawling action. The game, expected for PS2 and Xbox, even adds a new backstory that explores how the gang got together. Mini-games and missions abound, including muggings, graffiti tagging and car stereo theft...

EA already has a v1.01 patch for Battlefield 2, correcting a problem where the multiplayer browser hangs, plus the usual crashing and glitching issues. Get it from eagames.com. Valve has made various improvements to Counter-Strike: Source. There's a remake of the classic map cs_assault, a new terrorist model, improved player animations, boosts to bot AI and many bug fixes. Simply restart Steam to get the patches...

If you pre-order Madden 2006 on anything but the GBA, PSP or 360, you'll get the EA Sports Fantasy Football Commissioner service (a $50 value) for free, at least when you buy from EB and Gamestop. Due in August, the game promises a new feature called QB Vision that displays a cone showing where the quarterback can see to throw the ball. There's also a new Superstar mode that puts you into the lifestyle of an NFL player. Hey, now that EA has a virtual lock on pro football titles, what else are you going to play...

If you installed the v1.01 update to Battlefield 2 last week, you're probably having problems with the game now. That's because there's a nasty memory leak introduced by the patch. EA now recommends you reinstall the game from the original media and then do not install any updates until further notice. Same goes for the BF2 server files for Windows or Linux. Don't worry, you won't lose your medals or server rankings. EA promises a hotfix for the patch is in the works...

In an interesting twist, Microsoft is porting the expanded PC version of its moderately innovative Xbox console RPG back to the Xbox. That's right, Fable: The Lost Chapters - with new regions, quests, monsters, etc. and, we can only hope, fewer and faster load times - will be offered this fall as a $20 Platinum Hits release. A smart move, since die-hard fans will double dip and it will no doubt entice those who were on the fence before. In another interesting twist, the game is also being ported to the Mac...

Sony at one point announced that the PlayStation 3 would double as a home networking router. Well, no more. In the first major feature cut, Sony said the functionality would have driven up the price of the console too much. It's speculation, but what are the chances that this means Sony is working out a way to shave down the anticipated (though not officially announced) $399 launch price? Sony did reveal that SACD support is in, if you're into the audiophile music format... Anticipating Call of Cthulhu: Destiny's End or tie-in titles City of the Dead and Jackie Chan Adventures? You're going to have to wait a bit longer than expected now that developer Hip Interactive has filed for bankruptcy protection in Canada. If the games are any good, they should find a new home - heck, you may recall that Acclaim's Juiced found a publisher... Likewise, if you were looking forward to Far Cry: Instincts for the PS2, it's been canceled. Then again, Microsoft never has gotten the hang of third-party console exclusives, so you can probably just push out the PS2 version's release date by about six months from the Xbox release...

The third Gamma Pack for Wipeout Pure includes yet another free track, ship and skin. As a bonus, if you install all three packs and win a medal on each of the new tracks in a particular speed class, you'll unlock the Gamma and Descension tournaments. If that's not enough, a new Classic pack will be released on August 1. Download the free add-ons within the game over a wireless network, or from www.wipeoutpure.com...

Ubisoft released the first of several new multiplayer maps for Splinter Cell: Chaos Theory, sim-shipped for PC and Xbox. The Steel Squat map for Versus mode is set in Brooklyn and features both indoor and outdoor environments. Xbox users should logon to Xbox Live, while PC players can get it at various download sites including fileshack.com/file.x?fid=7350...

I'm sick to death over this whole Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas sex scandal. I mean, who knew that the game contained hidden simulated naughty nasty sex mini-games. What if some kids got a hold of this - what would they think? Can you imagine how many hours they might waste on impure thoughts and one-handed button mashing?

Hell, it might even blind them to the real purpose of the game: capping rival gang members, going on shooting rampages that almost always take out nearby pedestrians and building a crime empire in a fantasy game world that suggests that anyone could rise to power if they workout, eat right and are willing to murder on a daily basis.

Don't get me wrong, I just started playing the Xbox version of GTA: San Andreas - which, at least for now, doesn't have this mod. And I love it! It's great to be able to prowl the streets, cover other gangs' graffiti, practice a little home invasion and teach those rival punk-ass playahs to stop dissing your homies and respect your authority (or at least your big-ass piece).

Yeah, I know. I'm so street. I get that a lot.

The story so far
If you haven't been following the unfolding story, here's a short history lesson. In early June, a modder released the Hot Coffee patch that supposedly unlocked some existing mini-games in GTA: San Andreas. In the normal game, when you visit your girlfriends and they invite you in for some coffee (code for a booty call), the camera pulls back from the house and you hear some suggestive moans and groans.

A hacker known as PatrickW claims he dug around on the PC game disc and found some unused code that lets you actually go into the house and boost your health bar the old fashioned way, complete with nudity (in some cases) and a variety of positions. You actually have to tap the keyboard in time to rhythm, making this an interactive mini-game rather than just a scene.

A few weeks later, the politicians jumped on the bandwagon. The first was California assemblyman Leland Yee (D-San Francisco), who blamed the Entertainment Software Ratings Board (ESRB) for failing to rate the game as Adult Oriented (AO) instead of simply Mature. More recently, Senator Hillary Clinton (D-NY) lashed out at the game and even took her complaint to the FTC. She charges that "the video game, Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas, has graphic pornographic content which may be unlocked by following instructions widely available on the Internet."

This is wrong on many levels. First, you need more than instructions to unlock these naughty bits, you need to actually patch the game. And this just in: A code (that requires a third-party cheat device like Action Replay Max) can be used to unlock it on the PS2 version. (Can an Xbox mod be far behind?) This is a little closer to what the Senator described, but this news broke after her statement - and it still requires a fair amount of effort.

Second, the scenes are suggestive but not hardcore. There are no close-ups, nothing that would qualify as "graphic pornographic content." You can see much more just about any night of the week on HBO or Showtime. [UPDATE: This didn't stop the ESRB from caving in a few days later and re-rating the game AO. See my updated thoughts below.]

Rockstar in denial
Rockstar is, of course, denying everything even as they soak up the free publicity and, no doubt, a surge in sales. [UPDATE: Rockstar publisher Take-Two Interactive has recalled the game, so sales are on hold - at least for now.] They claim that the mod violates their license agreement and suggest (without quite stating) that the mini-games were wholly manufactured and grafted onto the game by a bunch of malicious coders out to discredit them and their way of life.

No one is buying it, since the scenes fit perfectly within the game. The graphics and voice acting match too well, and the presence of the mini-game on the PS2 disc makes it clear that these elements were cut in order to secure a M rating rather than the dreaded AO - which would have meant that no one except a few Internet boutiques would stock the game.

Which is funny, because even with the added scenes, the game fits neatly within the definition of an M-rated game. Violence? Of course. Strong language? Hell yeah. Blood and gore? Check. Sexual content (possibly including nudity)? I think we've covered this. AO titles, on the other hand, feature "prolonged scenes of intense violence and/or graphic sexual content and nudity."

Frankly, the politicians would have an easier time making the case that there are prolonged scenes of intense violence. The sex scenes, even with the mod, are short and harmless. Heck, they even suggest that a gentleman should let the lady finish first. Is that such a wrong thing to teach our kids?

The only question, really, is whether Rockstar did this on purpose knowing the mini-games would eventually be discovered, a low-level employee left it in as a prank or the code was marked for deletion but the guy who was supposed to remove it has Swiss cheese for a brain.

The whole firestorm is ridiculous. Doesn't everyone think it's funny that all of these politicians are waving their arms in the air screaming about a little harmless simulated sex? I mean, the game is about killing rival gang members and lets you, within the first five minutes, drive over innocent pedestrians without penalty.

Is sex really the root of all that's wrong in our country? The outcry suggests that we should be (as Hilary put it) "deeply disturbed that a game which now permits the simulation of lewd sexual acts in an interactive format with highly realistic graphics has fallen into the hands of young people across the country." But it misses the point that a Mature-rated title should never land in kids' hands in the first place.

Yeah, I know, parents suck - they don't pay attention and just give their little brats whatever they want. Great, so take the fight where it belongs: improving awareness and boosting retail enforcement of ESRB ratings. To be fair, Hilary also asks that the FTC make a "careful examination of the adequacy of retailers' rating enforcement policies."

Personally, I know that my son won't be playing a game like Grand Theft Auto until he's roughly 35 (OK, maybe 17 if he cleans his room and mows the lawn when I ask him) - and not because of a few naughty mini-games. And when he does, I'll be there to put it in context.

If we're going to make a federal case out of this, let's make it count. It's the violence, stupid! And the parents who turn a blind eye to what their kids are doing.

Yeah, I know - that doesn't make a very attractive headline. So let's blame the media, too.

-=Gamewatcher

UPDATE (July 21): If you think the re-rating of the game is ridiculous (as I clearly do), speak your mind! You're part of the community whose values the ESRB aims to reflect in its ratings. Your voice should be counted.

At minimum, talk with friends and family about how silly this whole fiasco is and how it's all been blown out of proportion (pun unintended, but I'm not deleting it now that I've noticed it). Explain to people that the scenes are ridiculously short and inaccessible to most gamers, and besides - isn't the violence of the game enough to warrant it be kept from younger gamers? Can't adults enjoy a silly, sexy mini-game if they want? I mean, that's who this game is clearly for - and no one has ever disputed that.

If you're really ambitious, try to get a job as an ESRB rater. Or a political staffer. Or a member of the media. And put a bug in the ear of those people who make wrong-headed judgments or do sloppy reporting.

A new v1.02 hotfix for Battlefield 2 replaces the ill-fated v1.01 patch. Get it at eagames.com. In other news, the developers have already announced an expansion pack. Due in the fall, Battlefield 2: Special Forces puts you in the boots on one of six technologically advanced details: Navy SEALs, British SAS, Russian Spetznas, MEC Special Forces, rebel groups or insurgents. There will be 10 new vehicles, plus an array of weapons and gadgets...

Following the Army's lead, the U.S. Navy now has a free game/recruitment tool. Navy Training Exercises: Strike and Retrieve focuses more on puzzles than guns as it has you retrieve downed spy planes before your enemy can. Alas, there's no multiplayer mode, and playing it might cause you to enlist - so download at your own risk from nte.navy.com...

Bungie is releasing an autoupdate today for Halo 2 that fixes some bugs and exploits in multiplayer and - more notably - will detect and ban players with any modified content. This isn't just modded Xboxes, people. They also mean Action Replay saves, softmods and pretty much anything else that gets you something you didn't earn legitimately through gameplay. The developers warn that the ban is permanent and without appeal, so you should delete any modded content before going online and getting the update. If you are banned, you'll also lose your rankings. You can still play LAN and custom Live games, but say goodbye to matchmaking...

The truth about chicken� and other things
I'm beginning to believe the reason for much of society's ills today is this: People are lazy. And selfish. But mostly lazy.

I've been Ranting off and on for a couple years now. Those of you who are keeping score at home may have noted that my recent diatribes seem a little counter to the end result:

• I suggested Monday that Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas should remain M-rated despite the presence of some hidden sex mini-games, and then the ESRB went and made it AO anyway.
  
  
  
• Likewise, a few months ago I predicted UMD movies would beat a quick path to the format graveyard and suggested a DVD peripheral would be a better place for Sony to devote its energies. Then they go and break 100,000 in sales on two UMD titles (House of the Flying Daggers and Resident Evil: Apocalypse) and get studio support from the likes of Buena Vista, Fox, Paramount and Universal and announce 200+ titles.
  
  
  
• I even suggested last year that the videogame series Game Over might be saved, only to see it die the following week with one episode yet to air. (In my favor, they did finally release the full six-episode series on DVD, and I know for a fact they sold at least one copy!)

Hey, at least Acclaim has managed to stay dead (even if someone has just bought their name).

So, yeah, it may seem that sometimes I'm wrong. Or am I?

Let's take a closer look at a scenario where it seemed I was in the minority but really there were other sinister forces at work. Namely, forces of laziness.

There's a grocery chain in Seattle called Larry's Market that sells this incredible buttermilk baked chicken. Ask anybody who's had it, they'll say they've never tasted anything quite like it. The buttermilk flavor and herbs are intense and permeate the meat. And since it's baked, it's better for you than fried chicken. Add some of their famous parmesan mashed potatoes and some Greek salad, and you've got an instant feast.

A month ago, the counter help at Larry's told me they'd stop selling it because "nobody bought it." I went to another store near my work and heard the same story. "No one buys it, so headquarters has decided to drop it from the menu."

"WHAT?!" I exclaimed. "You always seem to be sold out of it whenever we come by to buy it. We only find it on those rare occasions when we luck into a batch. Surely, you're mistaken!" No, I'm told - the Kalbi chicken outsells buttermilk two to one. Wow, how can you argue with those kinds of numbers? Answer: You can't. They're designed to shut down debate.

However, I'm not one to give up quite so easily, so I formulate a plan to assault Larry's headquarters with feedback suggesting that even if the buttermilk chicken isn't the most popular, it does have the power to make people like us drive 10-20 miles out of our way - and we always pick up a number of other items with it. Surely there's a marketing term for a product that doesn't sell insane quantities but influences consumers to, maybe once or twice a month, drive out of their way and fill their baskets with all kinds of overpriced side dishes. Let's call them Detour Inducing Splurge Magnets. Yeah, so the naming of marketing trends isn't my forte.

Naturally, every chance I got I would bend the ears of the counter help to remind them how much more I'd be spending on groceries at Larry's if they'd just bring back that yummy buttermilk chicken. Finally, one of them (no doubt ready to pass the buck) suggested I talk to a particular manager to find out if one of the more remote Larry's stores still stocked it.

The manager explained to me, more or less, what was really going on. The buttermilk chicken, because of its ingredients and method of preparation, has a very short shelf life. It can only sit under the heat lamps for about three hours before drying out and becoming inedible. If someone rescues the leftover chicken after a couple hours, wraps it up and puts it in the refrigerator case, it'll be good for several days. But more often than not, it gets tossed when someone finally notices it's been more than three hours and a new batch has to be made.

So it really comes down to the fact that the counter staff aren't on top of their game. They end up making several batches of buttermilk chicken each day and then throwing out most of it because there isn't a lot of call for it in the morning and mid-afternoon. Why they don't just put a countdown timer next to the chicken to remind them when to wrap it up, or only make one big batch of it around 5 p.m. each day, is beyond me.

The good news is that the manager agreed to order more of the buttermilk and herb coating and make me a batch of it anytime I want, with just 45 minutes warning. So there is a happy ending, in case you wondered.

The point of all this is that, well, people are lazy. They pick the path of least resistance.

• Canceling a TV show with low ratings is so much easier and cheaper than trying to figure out where it went wrong and try to fix it, which is why it so rarely happens.
  
  
  
• Burning movies from DVD onto a pricey memory stick for the PSP is a pain in the butt, so why not just buy an overpriced disc and watch it on the tiny, pixellated screen.
  
  
  
• Arguing against the current political climate of neo-conservatism (even among the Democrats, it seems!) in favor of a cheesy mini-game that was never meant to see the light of day is much more difficult than simply reversing your rating of a videogame - although it now means the ESRB will have to scour every block of game media in search of hidden naughty assets and artifacts. Fun work if you can get it.

For Resident Evil 5, Capcom seems to be ditching Nintendo in favor of Sony's PlayStation 3 and Microsoft's Xbox 360. The game, which will build on RE4, will make a break from the traditional tight, dark spaces of past entries with more daylight and outdoor expanses... Microsoft announced that its next operating system, formerly known by the code-name Longhorn, will be called Windows Vista when it ships (supposedly) in 2006. At least they didn't go with Windows 360... Acclaim isn't coming back from the dead, but it's name might. Companies are bidding on the moniker and intellectual property including the Dave Mirra Freestyle BMX series and ATV Quad Power Racing 2...

BLOG: The truth about chicken� and other things: I got a little flack for my views on San Andreas - one person actually suggested that Rockstar knew the rules, so they got what the deserved when they broke them. What rules?! The ESRB (like the MPAA for movies) is designed to self-regulate the game industry so the government won't step in. Its game raters are tasked with trying to assign a score based on their interpretation of community values. The difference between M and AO is determined, at least in small part, by YOUR opinion.

[Read full Blog entry]

GTA for the PSP (unlike the GBA game) is shaping up to be more than a short, shallow imitation of the original. Due in the fall, Grand Theft Auto: Liberty City Stories will offer 80+ hours of gameplay, an improved targeting system and the ability to cruise on motorcycles, dirt bikes and scooters. There will be stunts, rampages, hidden packages and the usual array of side missions. You'll follow familiar face Toni Cipriani in a story that's set three years prior to GTA III and features characters that span the entire GTA universe. Though the overall game is long, the missions themselves will be short and, for once, easy to save...

If you can't wait to play Burnout Revenge, check to see if your local Best Buy has any free PS2 and Xbox demo discs. The demo is quite short (one single-player lap) but at least you get to sample the new point system, which rates you on driving, aggression and revenge. If you missed out, don't worry - the full game ships in September...

Konami is sweetening the pot for its PSP platformer/shooter Death Jr, due in August. Pre-order the game from EB or Gamestop for some interesting extras: special foil packaging, two decorative disc cases and a bonus CD with music soundtrack (in MP3 format) and a digital comic you can enjoy on your PC or your PSP. Supplies are supposedly limited, so if it sounds like something you'd want you might order sooner than later...

The Tapwave Zodiac is no more. The Palm OS-based portable gaming device/PDA has been discontinued and Tapwave has cut all service and support. Games and add-ons may still be available at some retailers such as CompUSA and Fry's Electronics and, of course, eBay...

Sony has released v2.0 of its PlayStation Portable firmware in Japan, though the software apparently works fine on U.S. units. Why would you want it? Well, it includes a full-fledged Web browser and support for wallpaper images. Why would you want to skip it? It closes all of the security holes that permit homebrew apps. Needless to say, update at your own risk at www.playstation.jp/psp/update/ud_01.html......